Editorial note, mostly for Niffiwan, but the rest of y'all can read it, too.

Niffiwan asked me for a description of the squimonk for t-shirt design. I've really been thinkin about this for a week, and I'm gonna give you a couple things here, if I can. First, I want to admit that I don't have a picture in my head of any of the squimonk except for Alistair and Carl, all the rest are a sort of furry mass that I will draw from as I need more characters or jokes. For example, I've named one Victoria and I promise you, she has a secret. Second, I know that's not at all satisfying to someone who's trying to draw something, especially something based on another person's ideas, so I'm going to give you a description somewhat like I think Pat would give it. Take two big ol' cars, like Buicks or Oldsmobiles from the 70s. Tie a flying squirrel onto the grill of one and get a small monkey, like a Rhesus or a Spider monkey, even better if it's one of them monkeys that look like they have mustaches, and tie that to the front of the other car. Then, run them cars into one another goin really fast. It'd have to be super collider fast. It'd have to be fast enough that you didn't kill the monkey or the squirrel, but just combined them into one. Now, in your new "two have become one" car, with your "two have become one" mustachioed squirrel monkey, drive really fast around the zoo, clipping animals at random. When you finally get pulled over and kicked out of the zoo, probably for life, check the grill of the car. You've just made yourself a squimonk. Hope that helps.